I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
