you turned your livingroom into a bong?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
