It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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