You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
