ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I faked an abortion last night.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
