My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
