if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
