Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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