how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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