as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
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