You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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