you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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