Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
