what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
