he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
