i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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