You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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