do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i dont even know how to be here
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
