so that wasnt chicken after all
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
