just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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