I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
