I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
