This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
