exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
