using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
