You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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