Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
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