My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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