you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
