dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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