the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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