How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
