I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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