just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
