Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
