If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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