Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
There's always time for handjobs
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
