i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
