Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We just shotgunned beers for America
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
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