Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize