i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
