I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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