I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
