Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
