Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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