He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
