I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I think we might need a safe word for this...
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
