did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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