how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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