Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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