Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Randomize
