Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
