I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
