And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
