I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
