Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
