good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
