i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
